State of Mind

I’m meant to be curled up in my bed, passed the hell out.  Classes for Fall Quarter start tomorrow.  Instead, I’m listening to some drum-step and writing this.  I have too many thoughts bouncing around the inside of my cranium to relax.  I need to get off my ass and apply to a couple of Universities.  I need to meet with a counselor/adviser at my current school to figure out how I’m going to cram all my remaining degree requirements into as short of a time period as possible.  I need to think about the possibility of asking family for a loan to cover expenses too, or else get more/larger student loans.  The federal financial aid I’m getting won’t cover too many credits over what are necessary for my degree.  By number I’m already over what are required.  Unfortunately, I’m lacking in a couple areas as far as specific courses, which I’m in the process of completing.  I still think I want to pursue Socio-Cultural Anthropology, but I’m considering options to supplement my finances too.

In the last few weeks I’ve had the chance to get friendly with a variety of people who are able to pull in some cash through doing game streams on Twitch.  In theory, someone who I know through Twitch/Steam is going to be gifting me a new (to me) desktop gaming rig.  I’m not 100% on this yet.  They may fall through.  It’s a huge/amazing gift, if they do follow through.  If that does end up happening, I’ll be equipped to start trying to do my own game streams.  I’m attempting to get my account changed over from Justin TV to Twitch at the moment, too.  In my “day to day” life I’m more of an introvert than ever… but online I’m making friends and networking.  I’m completely broke, but I’ve been able to offer my time/energy to a couple cool people this weekend as well as last weekend when they did 24 hour streams.

One of the other things on my mind has been a blossoming flirtation with someone.  They’re not local.  Of course they’re not local.  I’m not making any assumptions until I get a chance to meet this person, if I ever do get that opportunity at all.  I’ve had hard lessons about offering my heart freely in the past.  Then again, someone else has been flirting hard with me the last week or so, and while I don’t think they “mean” it in any serious way, I’m starting to wonder… and everything is increasingly topsy turvy.

In short, my brain needs to shut up and go to sleep.  I have to be able to at least FAKE perky behavior for my first day of classes, damn it.

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