Attempting to Stream

As far as I can tell from discussing OBS settings with a few people, I shouldn’t have any problems there.  I’m using an i7 CPU and haven’t had any problems running things as far as my computer’s capabilities in general.  The internet I use is usually at 10 ping at most and the minimum DL/UL typically hovers around 40 mbps/20 mbps respectively, but I’ve seen it as high as 90 mbps/65 mbps.   I haven’t dropped a single frame thus far.  However, my stream gets completely disrupted periodically, and I’m not sure why.  It’s very frustrating.  I’m also sticking to only playing games that I don’t mind playing in a windowed mode for the moment.  I want to watch my channel’s chat and to interact with viewers, and without a secondary monitor nor having wifi I can use for my net book, options are limited.

Lately I’ve been playing Binding of Isaac with some Diablo 3 thrown in here and there.  I’m burnt out on Borderlands 2.  I picked up Osu! recently which I am remarkably bad at.  I also rediscovered how much fun Audiosurf is.  105 games on Steam, not enough time for all of them!  I still don’t have a set stream schedule unfortunately, because too many things in my life are up in the air.  I really appreciate the folks who have helped me get to where I am already, though.  Ryokorhm for my computer, Ninjaunwanted for some games, and Ishnoob for the BL2 TK Baha pack plus chocolate.  I also want to thank those of you have Followed me on Twitch.  I hope I am able to provide some consistent entertainment for everybody.  I just need to iron out a few wrinkles.

Computer, woo!

I’m supposed to be getting my new computer on Monday, which is freaking AMAZING.  I got my A40s back from the manufacturer, supposedly they’re fixed.  I haven’t been able to test this, because they forgot to return the USB-to-mix amp cord, which is also the power.  They just shipped it (or possibly a replacement) today.  I managed to get my Justin TV/Twitch TV account mix-up sorted out.  I just need to get that cord back for my headset, and I should hopefully be set up to start doing streams of my own!  I was wondering what people might want to see me play.  I have a rather extensive list of games on Steam.  I’ve mostly been playing Diablo 3 lately, but I started playing Skyrim a month or so ago too.  I also play Borderlands 2, of course.

On the flip side of that, I need to figure out OBS.  Like… damn.  I’ve been poking at it some, but it’s going to take me a little bit to figure it out, unless someone helps me out.  Or I could stop being lazy and go look on Google for a set-up walk through thing.  Or on youtube.  Eh.  I’ll get it sorted out.

I definitely won’t get to broadcast as much as I would like, at least not right now, because I’m effectively taking 20 credits this quarter.  Hurray! \o/

State of Mind

I’m meant to be curled up in my bed, passed the hell out.  Classes for Fall Quarter start tomorrow.  Instead, I’m listening to some drum-step and writing this.  I have too many thoughts bouncing around the inside of my cranium to relax.  I need to get off my ass and apply to a couple of Universities.  I need to meet with a counselor/adviser at my current school to figure out how I’m going to cram all my remaining degree requirements into as short of a time period as possible.  I need to think about the possibility of asking family for a loan to cover expenses too, or else get more/larger student loans.  The federal financial aid I’m getting won’t cover too many credits over what are necessary for my degree.  By number I’m already over what are required.  Unfortunately, I’m lacking in a couple areas as far as specific courses, which I’m in the process of completing.  I still think I want to pursue Socio-Cultural Anthropology, but I’m considering options to supplement my finances too.

In the last few weeks I’ve had the chance to get friendly with a variety of people who are able to pull in some cash through doing game streams on Twitch.  In theory, someone who I know through Twitch/Steam is going to be gifting me a new (to me) desktop gaming rig.  I’m not 100% on this yet.  They may fall through.  It’s a huge/amazing gift, if they do follow through.  If that does end up happening, I’ll be equipped to start trying to do my own game streams.  I’m attempting to get my account changed over from Justin TV to Twitch at the moment, too.  In my “day to day” life I’m more of an introvert than ever… but online I’m making friends and networking.  I’m completely broke, but I’ve been able to offer my time/energy to a couple cool people this weekend as well as last weekend when they did 24 hour streams.

One of the other things on my mind has been a blossoming flirtation with someone.  They’re not local.  Of course they’re not local.  I’m not making any assumptions until I get a chance to meet this person, if I ever do get that opportunity at all.  I’ve had hard lessons about offering my heart freely in the past.  Then again, someone else has been flirting hard with me the last week or so, and while I don’t think they “mean” it in any serious way, I’m starting to wonder… and everything is increasingly topsy turvy.

In short, my brain needs to shut up and go to sleep.  I have to be able to at least FAKE perky behavior for my first day of classes, damn it.


I’m strongly thinking of changing the direction of my blog/twitter/etc towards being game focused… instead of kink/relationship/life focused.  I’m just not doing as much pervy stuff lately and my gaming addiction is as strong as ever.  I just picked up Open Broadcaster Software and might start making some videos.  I have a Twitch TV account too.  Hopefully readers will find my possible new direction entertaining!

I’ve been playing Borderlands 2 primarily, but I also play Skyrim and other titles.  I’m on a desktop PC, whose components are (sadly) about five and a half years old.  I have an Astro Gaming 2013 A40 headset, Corsair K70 keyboard, and Logitech G500 mouse as far as peripherals.  I have an Intel Core 2 Duo CPU E7200 @2.53GHz with 4GB of RAM.  I had been gifted a video card a few years back, so I have a ATI Radeon HD 5570.


I’m always surprised and intrigued to know what people think of me.  Day to day I’m usually in jeans and a tank top or t-shirt, depending on how hot it is.  If it’s toasty, it might be shorts or a skirt… if it’s cold I’ll likely be wearing a nerdy hoodie of some sort.  I was talking with Q and some interesting things came to light.  Out of the circle of females he knows, he considers me one of the more feminine.  He also considers me to be on the more “normal” side of humans.

I don’t think of myself as “normal” at all.  It isn’t that I try to be weird or to stand out, but I feel I stand apart from much of the animal masses.  People often seem surprised at how much of a metal head I am, as far as music.  Sometimes when folks see photos of when I’m in goth attire, and their mind is blown.  I flip flop between quite femme and boyish.  On the internet I’m much more social than I am in my day to day life.  I can’t be around people for too long without some alone time.  It seems that people think I’ll be this meek little innocent because of being an introvert.  Some people, anyway.

I find it amusing to be other than what people expect of me.  I wish I could shape shift.  I would look different every day.  I can’t seem to settle on any one thing.  Gender identity, dominance vs. submission, career path, and the list just goes on and on.  It’s odd, as much as I generally dislike being labeled by other people, I fairly frequently label myself.  I like challenging people’s perceptions of me.  At the same time, I think I am still malleable… if I like someone a lot, I tend to want to be more what they desire.  I need to keep my head on straight.  I have to remind myself to not overstep boundaries.  I have to remind myself to not lose myself or sight of priorities.

Since summer quarter ended I have done VERY little productive stuff.  I’ve been devoured by Skyrim.  That game is glitchy as fuck.  I broke the game hard enough with my first character that I deleted her and completely restarted.  Thankfully, Steam makes it super easy to mod.  I’ve made things run more smoothly in general.  Sadly, I’m going to have to completely redo the Thieves’ Guild quest chain, which makes a part inside cry a little.  I’m running around with a dark elf turned Vampire Lord.  Primarily a destruction/elemental damage type spell caster, but also sneaky.  Fun game.  This is the most I’ve ever had the chance to play this franchise.  As a last aside, I picked up the recent Humble Bundle, and EA’s client Origin makes me want to break things.  I’ve been trying off and on for several days to get a single game to install.  It’s not even 7 gigs and it is only about 30% done.  Horrible.

Idle Rambling 3/19/12

Firstly, holy crap there is finally an official release date out for Diablo 3! 05 : 15 : 12!  Hurray!

Secondly, I saw what you get when ordering the Collector’s Edition for Guild War’s 2 and.. now I really want it.  I’m trying to not see any spoilers for Mass Effect 3.  I still haven’t gotten to play either of the first two.  I only picked them up during Steam’s holiday sales this year.  Since my internet sucks so incredibly hard, I cannot download/install them however.  Sigh.  I’ve been spending a somewhat disgustingly large amount of time playing the first Witcher game of late.  I got 45 hours in and….. the game pretty much imploded.  None of the saves I had allowed me to recover normal play either.  So I restarted from the beginning.  The game crashes way too much.  Very irritating.  I like the play style.  I like not having a black/white “This is good, this is evil” in regards to choices I make.  I like that my actions do have consequences.  I swear that the NPCs cheat at the in-game game of dice poker.  The sex cards are amusing.  I wish there were slightly more options for gear, but oh well…  My peeves about the game: you can’t jump at all (not even over something a foot tall), no auto-run, and some weirdness with being able to access your item storage.  I had been working on a little optional quest pretty much throughout the entire game so that I could get a specific sword.  I was fucking pissed off when I discovered you could only access your storage ONCE at the beginning of chapter 5.  So all that work to get the sword was wasted.  Couldn’t get it.  Yes, I was pretty much doing every optional thing possible in the game.

I’ve been dabbling in Scribblenauts, Professor Layton and the Unwound Future, as well as Pokemon White on my DS.  I’m kind of thinking that Pokemon Black/White 2 sounds like a super fucking cheap cop out by Nintendo.  I mean, really?  You couldn’t just have a Pokemon Grey or something, to do the usual trifecta of generational Pokemon games?  I’ve been thinking I need to give Zelda: Spirit Tracks another try too.  I played about an hour shortly after I got it and just couldn’t get into the game.  To further pass time I’ve been reading lots on my Kindle.  I’ve finished all the books out for Game of Thrones.  I’ve started Wheel of Time as well as Sword of Truth, and Myth Adventures.  By G.R.R Martin, Robert Jordan, Terry Goodkind, and Robert Asprin respectively.  Finished up Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain…

The current series I’m curling up in bed and reading until I fall asleep with is the Gor novels by John Norman.  To me they’re amusingly bad.  I do think some people have inner tendencies towards submission or dominance.  However.  A solid breakdown of it only being one gender is complete and utter crap.  Also, the casual discussion of rape is decidedly not okay.  I find it amusing when I’m on sites like FetLife that some people say they’re a Gorean slave girl.  Especially when all of them who I’ve personally encountered don’t follow the basic tenants of what that would mean.  If you’re going to do something, don’t half ass it!  If you’re going to be a slave, awesome.  But don’t say you’re something that is so specific when you’re not fucking “doing it right”.  That’s about as close as I’ll get to saying there’s a twue way to do anything.  It isn’t that I think all slaves should be Gorean.  It isn’t that I think there’s anything wrong with being kinky, un-dominant, and not wanting to be a slave.  However, if you’ve read a couple of books by John Norman you get quite a feel for what he thinks a Gorean slave girl is.  I’ve yet to run into one. This just ties in with my general annoyance with people bullshitting others.  There is nothing wrong with not being something.  But don’t say you are x, y, and z when you’re NOT x, y, and z.  Be yourself, whatever that might be.  Well, except for being a serial killer, rapist, child molester, etc.

I’m still trying to see if I can get into an IT Program that seems rather promising.  I’m getting up at a rather early hour to go to a dentist… very unexciting.  I had 3 wisdom teeth out last summer and the last one is coming in now.  Also, need to see about getting my teeth cleaned.  Being broke + uninsured sucks.  I’ve been becoming a lot more diligent lately about keeping my teeth in nice shape, not really sure why.  Just another thing for me to obsess over I suppose.  I also determined that jogging isn’t going to fly with a wonky knee.  Need to figure out something else I can do for cardio…  I want to get my fat ass into shape 😉

Enough rambling for now.  Hope everyone had a nice Saint Patrick’s Day as well as a pleasant upcoming Ostara/Easter/etc

These are a few of my favorite things

I was realizing the other day that I really don’t like trying to summarize myself in one neat little paragraph much less one tiny sentence for various websites I lurk/post on.  I think it says a lot more about me if you know the things I like .  So.  Prepare for pretty much a wall of text on various stuff I like a lot… with that, Onward Macduff!

Books: I love trashy/romance-ish vampire novels (but NOT Twilight… sparkle-vampires ought to be burned with the power of a thousand suns.. I’m sure all that glitter will be burned away eventually) like Laurell K Hamilton’s Anita Blake series.  I have, however gotten tired of that series.  I liked it better when there was more murder solving, unusual monsters, and shape-shifter culture, etc.   In general I enjoy fantasy, sci-fi, historical fiction, etc.  Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, David Weber, Tad Williams, G.R.R. Martin, Ray Bradbury, Robert Jordan and Douglas Adams.

Graphic novels/comics: Jhonen Vasquez’s various works, Transmetropolitan by Warren Ellis, Petshop of Horrors by Matsuri Akino, Fables from Vertigo, The Sandman by Gaiman (of course!), Tales from Wonderland from Zenescope to name a few.  I really enjoyed what I read of the Marvel Zombies.  And just because I can…

“In blackest day, in brightest night,
Beware your fears made into light.
Let those who try to stop what’s right
Burn like my power, Sinestro’s Might!”

Movies: Martial art, action, comedy… I’m slowly starting to dabble in horror/scary.. Lord of War, Chocolate (the one with Johnny Depp and the martial art one), Serenity, Lady Hawk, LotR, Star Wars, Donnie Darko, Sin City, V for Vendetta, Hard Candy, Fight Club, Boondock Saints, Equilibrium, Domino, Secretary, and Romeo + Juliet

TV: Family Guy, Archer, Futurama, Invader Zim, Cowboy Bebop, Trigun, Hellsing, Firefly, Bones, Dexter, Iron Chef (shut up, it’s an awesome show), and ALMOST any Food Network show ever. The exceptions being Rachel Ray/Paula Dean who irritate me and Sandra Lee who creeps me out (Stepford Wife much?).

Music: I listen to almost everything, predominantly metal, rock, industrial, and dubstep. As far as other genres, I listen to some of everything, but my least favorite is country. I’ll name a few favorites however: System of a Down, Velvet Acid Christ, Wumpscut, The Who, In Flames, Flobots, Grendel, MT Eden, Emilie Autumn, She, & pretty much anything that Maynard James Keenan has touched.

Food: I love food. I’ve really enjoyed attending Bite of (insert city name here) and the local annual cheese festival when I was able to attend. I enjoy cooking quite a bit, but love when someone else cooks for me. I’m not picky (except I can’t freaking stand raisins) and enjoy sampling things I’ve never tasted before. I ❤ noodles as well as almost any other carb out there. I love a big bowl of pho, especially if I feel under the weather. I’m definitely -not- a vegetarian, but I do like fruits and veggies a fair amount.

Games: Ok here goes.. I started as a tabletop gamer, so.. New World of Darkness, Dungeons and Dragons, GURPS, Mutants and Masterminds, Wheel of time, and Witchcraft 3.0 are all tabletop RPGs I’ve either dabbled or played hardcore with. As far as board/card games.. Munchkin, Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, and poker (I’m really bad at it though)..

Over the last few years or so I’ve gotten more into electronics. I played Golden Eye, Conker’s Bad Fur Day, and Mario Kart back in the day. Diablo 2, American McGee’s Alice, Final Fantasy, Zelda, Puzzle Quest, Castle Crashers, Rock Band/Guitar Hero, Soul Caliber, Street Fighter, Castlevania, etc. I have a desktop that I game on, a tolerable laptop, DS lite, PS2, GameCube and 360 Elite. In spite of a South Korean heritage I don’t really like Starcraft (So incredibly bad at it) and I do not play it. I really like Left 4 Dead 2, Borderlands, and dabble in Team Fortress 2. I AM a World of Warcraft player, so if that bothers you… move along, nothing to see here. I play on again, off again, but when I do play, the game may occasionally absorb my free time like a massive sponge.

Anyway, that was my kinda lame, cop-out 150th post.  😛  You know more about me though!  Which is good… right?  Right?  Bueller?  …Bueller?