Attempting to Stream

As far as I can tell from discussing OBS settings with a few people, I shouldn’t have any problems there.  I’m using an i7 CPU and haven’t had any problems running things as far as my computer’s capabilities in general.  The internet I use is usually at 10 ping at most and the minimum DL/UL typically hovers around 40 mbps/20 mbps respectively, but I’ve seen it as high as 90 mbps/65 mbps.   I haven’t dropped a single frame thus far.  However, my stream gets completely disrupted periodically, and I’m not sure why.  It’s very frustrating.  I’m also sticking to only playing games that I don’t mind playing in a windowed mode for the moment.  I want to watch my channel’s chat and to interact with viewers, and without a secondary monitor nor having wifi I can use for my net book, options are limited.

Lately I’ve been playing Binding of Isaac with some Diablo 3 thrown in here and there.  I’m burnt out on Borderlands 2.  I picked up Osu! recently which I am remarkably bad at.  I also rediscovered how much fun Audiosurf is.  105 games on Steam, not enough time for all of them!  I still don’t have a set stream schedule unfortunately, because too many things in my life are up in the air.  I really appreciate the folks who have helped me get to where I am already, though.  Ryokorhm for my computer, Ninjaunwanted for some games, and Ishnoob for the BL2 TK Baha pack plus chocolate.  I also want to thank those of you have Followed me on Twitch.  I hope I am able to provide some consistent entertainment for everybody.  I just need to iron out a few wrinkles.

Bend

I’m always surprised and intrigued to know what people think of me.  Day to day I’m usually in jeans and a tank top or t-shirt, depending on how hot it is.  If it’s toasty, it might be shorts or a skirt… if it’s cold I’ll likely be wearing a nerdy hoodie of some sort.  I was talking with Q and some interesting things came to light.  Out of the circle of females he knows, he considers me one of the more feminine.  He also considers me to be on the more “normal” side of humans.

I don’t think of myself as “normal” at all.  It isn’t that I try to be weird or to stand out, but I feel I stand apart from much of the animal masses.  People often seem surprised at how much of a metal head I am, as far as music.  Sometimes when folks see photos of when I’m in goth attire, and their mind is blown.  I flip flop between quite femme and boyish.  On the internet I’m much more social than I am in my day to day life.  I can’t be around people for too long without some alone time.  It seems that people think I’ll be this meek little innocent because of being an introvert.  Some people, anyway.

I find it amusing to be other than what people expect of me.  I wish I could shape shift.  I would look different every day.  I can’t seem to settle on any one thing.  Gender identity, dominance vs. submission, career path, and the list just goes on and on.  It’s odd, as much as I generally dislike being labeled by other people, I fairly frequently label myself.  I like challenging people’s perceptions of me.  At the same time, I think I am still malleable… if I like someone a lot, I tend to want to be more what they desire.  I need to keep my head on straight.  I have to remind myself to not overstep boundaries.  I have to remind myself to not lose myself or sight of priorities.

Since summer quarter ended I have done VERY little productive stuff.  I’ve been devoured by Skyrim.  That game is glitchy as fuck.  I broke the game hard enough with my first character that I deleted her and completely restarted.  Thankfully, Steam makes it super easy to mod.  I’ve made things run more smoothly in general.  Sadly, I’m going to have to completely redo the Thieves’ Guild quest chain, which makes a part inside cry a little.  I’m running around with a dark elf turned Vampire Lord.  Primarily a destruction/elemental damage type spell caster, but also sneaky.  Fun game.  This is the most I’ve ever had the chance to play this franchise.  As a last aside, I picked up the recent Humble Bundle, and EA’s client Origin makes me want to break things.  I’ve been trying off and on for several days to get a single game to install.  It’s not even 7 gigs and it is only about 30% done.  Horrible.

July 14th, 2012

I start Job Corp in less than a week and am ever so slightly freaking out.  I re-read some of the paperwork and no where is it explicitly stated that toys cannot be brought.  So.  I’m debating whether or not trying to take one with me.  For the last 6 days I’ve had an alarm set for first 8am and now 7am.  Another day or two of getting up at 7 and I’ll change it to 6am.  It’s not my norm to be getting up that early, but I don’t want it to be a big deal when I start.  One thing to possibly look forward to, I changed my location on a dating site I’ve been a member of for years in regards to my upcoming move.  I’ve been exchanging messages with someone who seems pretty cool.  If nothing else, I should have a local gamer friend, which… you can never have enough of those.  It has been rather nice, actually.  Really long emails have been getting exchanged, and pretty much all the big lifestyle stuff has been discussed.  So have my dirty little secrets that might bother a person.  Still not entirely sure how he feels about one, but otherwise we seem pretty well in sync with each other.  I’m waiting to have better internet available so I can install L4D2 on my laptop, so we can frag some zombies.  Also, play Diablo 3.  Possibly some World of Warcraft.  I’ve been missing playing lately, weird as that seems.  I actually enjoy leveling/running around doing random stuff with friends.  Hell, I actually liked harvesting materials for crafting while chatting on Ventrilo.  The guy I’ve been talking with gave me a spare pre-order key for Torchlight 2, also… which, is awesome.  Fuck yes, video games.

Speaking of gaming, Steam has had their Summer Sale going.  I picked up Darksiders and Alice: Madness Returns for about $5 each.  A friend gifted me a copy of From Dust, too…  I was playing Psychonauts a bunch recently, but the Circus level drove me up the wall.  Those guys throwing swords and that jumping bit related to it?  Yeah, it sucks.  I’ve pretty much rage quit from finishing the game for a bit.  Instead, I’ve been playing Super Meat Boy… which is a rather difficult platform game.  Fortunately, if I fuck it up, each level so far only takes maybe 10 seconds so I don’t lose much progress.  The Circus level in Psychonauts is significantly longer and if I mess it up I have to start all the way at the beginning.  Ew.  I’m trying really hard to not be quite so horrible at platform games, but it’s a slow grind. I think it would be a lot easier to be playing them on console, but my consoles are packed up in storage right now.  Bollocks.

I hope everyone’s summer is going well so far.  It has been in the 90s to 100s here and my dad’s place has no A/C.  It’s pretty fucking miserable.  I went berry picking several days ago and ended up with 7 mosquito bites and… well, I would not feel bad at all if the entire species was obliterated.  There are plenty of other bugs to pollinate and feed insectivores.  Not a fan.  They’re after my sweet, delicious blood, but it’s mine!   Mine, damn it!  In any case, things are pretty ok for me.  I’m tentatively hopeful about my plans for everything shaping up and working out alright.