I’m strongly thinking of changing the direction of my blog/twitter/etc towards being game focused… instead of kink/relationship/life focused.  I’m just not doing as much pervy stuff lately and my gaming addiction is as strong as ever.  I just picked up Open Broadcaster Software and might start making some videos.  I have a Twitch TV account too.  Hopefully readers will find my possible new direction entertaining!

I’ve been playing Borderlands 2 primarily, but I also play Skyrim and other titles.  I’m on a desktop PC, whose components are (sadly) about five and a half years old.  I have an Astro Gaming 2013 A40 headset, Corsair K70 keyboard, and Logitech G500 mouse as far as peripherals.  I have an Intel Core 2 Duo CPU E7200 @2.53GHz with 4GB of RAM.  I had been gifted a video card a few years back, so I have a ATI Radeon HD 5570.

Slowly but surely

I’m making progress with.. well, the things I’m working on at Job Corps.  I’ve gotten my GED, became a certified nursing assistant, and am working on becoming a certified phlebotomy technician.  I’m working on being more fit/losing weight and should have my driver’s license before I leave here.  Kind of a wonky story about why I don’t already have one, considering I’m turning 25 this summer (way too tired to go into it right this second).  It isn’t because I was bad/did anything wrong/got in trouble, though.  Um, I’ve gotten back into knitting.  I’ve been doing the Insanity workout.  I read like a fiend on my Kindle.  Otherwise my life is pretty god damn boring.

I really only am writing this post to let folks know I’m still alive and am in fact working my butt off.  Medical terms and abbreviations can die in a fire.  I think I may be a victim of encephalorrhexis from all of it…  Brain rupture?  Oh yeah.  Good times, baby!  I KNOW I’m dealing with chirospasms from all the notes and flash cards.  Writer cramp, woo.

I do have a play weekend to look forward to, at the beginning of April.  Any breaks from Job Corps are good things.  Cheers, lovelies

2012? Kiss my ass

Job Corps is a pain in the ass.  I’m doing a lot for myself being there, but a large part of me fucking hates it.  My biggest plan for what I want to do with my future doesn’t seem likely.  The boy I had been seeing for almost six months, it didn’t work out.  I dumped him a bit over a week ago.  Sadly, I spent much of that day crying and feeling quite distraught, and he didn’t seem to give a fuck.  Whatever, life goes on.  I’m pretty much over him already.  The tiny podunk town that my Job Corps campus is in sucks ass as an aside.  It either smells like onion (not so bad) or it smells like cow shit.  Fan-fucking-tastic.

I still am wrestling hard with depression and anxiety.  I’ve become increasingly hermit-like.  My tolerance for being around humans has dwindled nearly to nil.  My capacity for giving a fuck about other people is quite slim.  I care about my family and the short list of friends I have.  I care about the relatively few possessions I have.  Beyond that?  Most of humanity just needs to leave me the hell alone, so I can get the stuff done that I need to.  It isn’t even so much that I’m super angry or bitter.  Mind you, I’m not claiming to be free of either of those emotions, it’s more that with the amount of spoons/energy I have per day, I can’t be arsed to care.

Let’s see… beyond that?  I’ve read approximately 250 books this last year.  Having a Kindle is a god send for my sanity levels.  I’ve been listening to a lot of Eluveitie and In This Moment lately.  I’m almost done with the CNA program I’m in.  I have a few more clinical days, practicing skills, the in-class final, a certification for retirement homes to complete, and then the state cert test.  I should finish all of that except for the state cert in January and get to start Phlebotomy.  Hopefully after that I’ll get into the college program so I can wrap up yet another loose end in my life.

Thoughts for 2013?  Please be less fail than 2012.  I may go on a stabbing spree with a spork, otherwise.  I don’t want to deal with drama or stupid any further than is necessary.  Living in a dorm is bollocks.  Relationships are also an utter load of crap.  Family is complicated and a lot of effort.  Maintaining friendships is difficult to do.  I want to continue getting into better shape.  I want to become self-sufficient again.  I sweat the little things way  more than I need to.  Take a chill pill.  Occasionally doing things that are bad for me goes a long way towards making me a calmer, happier humanoid.

I hope my various readers are doing well.  I’ll try to write more while I’m on winter break.  Until then, I bid you all adieu.  I do apologize if this post is ridiculously disjointed and random, but I’m running on about two hours of sleep and have been awake for almost 19 hours.  Also between drinking a beer and soaking in a hot tub my brain has pretty much disintegrated into useless protein-y/sugar-y goo.

November 23, 2012 Update

Well, it has been quite some time since I was able to get access to unfiltered internet when I had free time to let folks know what is going on through a blog post!  I started Job Corps roughly 4 months ago and my life has gone rather topsy turvy.  I’m feeling a bit brainwashed after living on a government run campus.  You can’t walk on the grass, you can’t linger/walk through certain areas, your clothing all must be like this, you can’t do that, so on and so forth.

I was in an introductory phase for a couple of weeks, then spent about a month and a half in education.  They make everybody do a silly health class, I also finally got my GED, and I spent an ungodly amount of brain power in a medical terminology class, prepping for starting their Certified Nursing Assistant program (which I should finish/take my certification test in January or February).  I’m doing well in the program, maintaining a 93% average with all my book work, I’m one of two crew chiefs (we help keep the other students in line), I’m a room leader in my dorm (think Prefect a la Harry Potter), and I ran for (and lost) a Student Government position.

I’m immensely frustrated with much of the student body and most of the staff.  So many idiots, so many people who don’t give a damn about anyone else.  I’ve become quite hermit-y.  I go to class, go to study group, go work out, and then hide in my room and study some more.  I’ve managed to lose about 30 pounds since starting Job Corps.  I hope to continue my weight loss trend.  No, I’m not starving myself, no, I’m not working out obsessively.  I eat smaller portions of food, eat healthier things, and work out 3-5 times a week, depending on how I feel.  I also started taking antidepressants a little over two months ago.  Being here is stressful and depressing.  The staff keep fucking up on my medication though, which is absolutely horrid.  Withdrawals suck.

On a happier note, I also have been seeing a boy for a little over 3 months.  Quite a nice fellow, G is.  He’s a nerd and a geek, of course.  I’m working on coaxing him gently towards the kinkier side of things.  We’ll see how that goes.  In any case, I’m trying to get myself all straightened out.  I want to finish up the CNA program and get certified, start the Phlebotomy program and get certified, get my Driver’s License (finally), and finish up the 8 credits I need for my Associate of Arts and Science degree.  I am still contemplating the military after I finish up Job Corps.  Air Force or Navy, methinks.  I got a 90 out of a possible 99 on my ASVAB.  So ah, not too shabby.  I would like to retake it and see if I can score another 3 points higher, however.  I would prefer to be Tier I instead of Tier II 😛

I hope everyone is doing well.  In a nutshell I’m alright, just incredibly busy.  Cheers,